by claire Jun 5, 2007
category :
Life, society /
other
The rearview mirror, |
by Sabree
It is strong in message...but i do not think it is your best. The flow is not very strong nor is the word choice. I think you could do much better. Try and put more into it and work on it more. I love the message, but the poem needs work. I believe that it could be wonderful if it got some work put in to it though. Good luck and tell me if you decide to add to it or not! I can give you a 3/5 for now. |
by claire
Ps - you were right about punctuation. I think it actually helped the poem a lot :) |
by claire
Okay. I fixed the typo, and I added puctuation. compared to most poems on this site (all of the ones about suicide, cutting, and other tragic/negative things) this poem was downright optomistic. yeah, it's not gonna win Best Attitude. o well. |
by Debbie
"What [cam] first?" - came. |