True

by claire   Jun 5, 2007


The rearview mirror,
Can't show the view.
The glossy back cover,
Doesn't reveal the model's pain,
True.
Everyone's cheating at life,
True.
Lies just cause pain and prolong strife,
True.
Who knows which was the first lie?
What came first?
The lie or the liar?
The poet or the rhyme?
No difference,
Place or time,
Everyone's cheating at life.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Sabree

    It is strong in message...but i do not think it is your best. The flow is not very strong nor is the word choice. I think you could do much better. Try and put more into it and work on it more. I love the message, but the poem needs work. I believe that it could be wonderful if it got some work put in to it though. Good luck and tell me if you decide to add to it or not! I can give you a 3/5 for now.

    -Sabree

  • 17 years ago

    by claire

    Ps - you were right about punctuation. I think it actually helped the poem a lot :)

  • 17 years ago

    by claire

    Okay. I fixed the typo, and I added puctuation. compared to most poems on this site (all of the ones about suicide, cutting, and other tragic/negative things) this poem was downright optomistic. yeah, it's not gonna win Best Attitude. o well.

  • 17 years ago

    by Debbie

    "What [cam] first?" - came.

    Such a backward viewpoint, eh. It was quite thoughtful on the whole, whereas the need for punctuations is rendered necessary to enhance its flow. A good effort, nonetheless