I won't cause you pain again

For months
the you made me confused
on who i wanted more
i loved you both
and i still do
i still give my soul and body to you
and waking up in the morning light
wrapped you warm embrace
i thought i knew who i would chose
you
you were the one i wanted more
the one that i longed to hold forever
but you decided that was enough
you chose that morning to tell me
that you were done waiting
you loved me and you always will
but you wont wait for me any more
i tried to tell you that you wouldn't have to wait
tried to hold you to make you see
but you wouldn't listen
wouldn't even try to hear
what i said through crying
gasping for air
and you were gone...

days, weeks, months passed
and i didn't leave my house
every night
i held my self tight
as if holding myself together
once you left
i told him it was over
not between me and you
but me and him
he seemed to think we would be happy
if only he knew...

but I'm done crying
since i sure ain't trying
and laying there
gasping again
for more air than i had
trying to see through my tear filled eyes
i reached out a hand
found a sharp pain
i reached a knife it seems
i grabbed the knife
and pulled it down my wrist
blood forming at the wound
i switch the knife to my other hand
and form the same cut on my other wrist
blood is coming faster and faster
but i lay there
knife beside me
crying
and then
i was gone...

i was in heaven it seemed
for you held me once more
though such an angel should not be crying
i realized then that i wasn't dead you were there
though i didn't understand why
but i didn't care
i let go then and there
i wouldn't cause pain to you again...