Better that it isn't true, but heartfelt the same, this story/poem was exceptionally well written only a few mistakes (we all make them)
someone that is close to him... someone that he No's No's should be knows
Hear should be here
other than that this was excellent to read, a diffcult peice though it appers to write. I hope that made sense. Really well written, keep up the good work 5/5

This poem/story was really heartfelt and held strong emotions I like how it was portrayed. Really capturing. The lines were long which I liked but the structure seemed just a little hard to read. Other then that I really enjoyed this. Well done~mel

What she has hurt how the man she [[love's ]]
It's loves

First stanza.
Forced and out of flow.

Eck.
This is... chaotic.
There is a bit of structure on this poem.

A poem as long as this NEEDS structure.
Without it, it would just be... well, blah.

All in all, I thought this poem was kind of dramatic.
But that's probably because I know that this would never happen to me.
I don't know.
I just can't empathize with your character.
Sorry.
I'm going to vote a three.
Do you want me to or do you want me to leave it?

Really good. 5/5

Ravyn

Wow. amazing poem.
i really liked it.
very good.
5/5.
`-jackie.