Hey Dad

Hey Dad
I never got a chance to say
Exactly how much I love you so
Though I've been told you already know

I know it's not your fault you passed away
So soon after I was born
I just find it hard to believe in God
Your death left me so torn

I never got to experience things with you behind me
I didn't have you holding on to me when I first learnt to ride a bike
I never got to see your face my first day of school
Were you crying like Mum or were you smiling?

You weren't there when I turned 13
The entire ache I went through, I never had you
When I started to go out with friends on my own
When I was allowed to walk up the street on my own

What about my first boyfriend?
You weren't there to protect me, to try and tell me
Not to trust him, because he wasnt good enough
I never had you there to tell me, no man is good enough for me

My first dance, Year 10
In my first dress, make up, looking beautiful
My 2nd dance, Year 12, my Graduation
You may have been watching over me, but its not the same

Ive always said Im not getting married and could never explain why
I think I know now why I dont want to get married
I wont have you, my Father to walk me down the aisle
I can get someone else but it wont be the same thing

Ive been around arguments and violence
For eighteen years, and I do believe
With you here things wouldve been so different
I would be a different person completely

Im a good person now, and I wholeheartedly believe
I get a lot of my personality from you Dad
I didnt know you, or what you were like
But I do know that you were the only Dad I ever had

I sometimes hate you for leaving me
But if it werent for you, I wouldnt even be in this world
I sometimes wish I hadnt been born
But then I think about all the good things in my life

Lifes too short to worry about things and hold grudges
And sometimes I forget about all that
When I was little I didnt quite understand
I didnt know any different, Mum is all I had

I sometimes get caught up in the world evolves around me
Thats when I get told I take after you in a way
No matter what I get told about you Dad
I love you, and Im proud of you in every single way

If I were able to talk to you now Id tell you all the things
Ive wanted to tell you all my life
If I were able to be with you, if you hadnt have died
Id be so happy, I wouldve got to know my Dad

I wish a lot of the time that you were here
To talk to, to spend time with, to laugh with
I still do, although I know, youre up there
Youre never far, youre right up there, so near

In fact I swear I seen you the other day
Riding past the kitchen table in your wheelchair
No one else seen it, that got me thinking
Its actually got me to start believing

So many times Ive called for you to come
To show yourself, just so I can see you
Mum and Kylie said before, they have seen you after death
I didnt believe because whenever Id call, youd never show

Even though when Im home alone with silence
Id just be sitting there and hear a noise, like wind
I know it sounds crazy and I believe its you beside me
Like everythings silent, so I hear you breathe

I used to hold on to all these things, I never knew why
I still wish I could remember you and all the things we did
I want to remember your face and the touch of your hand
As youd help me up if I fell as I was trying to walk and Id feel safe

Even though you passed, I know youre here now
I know that whenever I feel alone, I just have to look above
Youll be the sunshine breaking through
I love you Dad, so much, always have and Ill never ever stop.