Untitled(till later)

by Miranda   Jun 8, 2007


I am crying inside.
I've had enough.
You slur your words,
telling me your not drunk!

"please don't have anymore"
I beg and plead.
But you say your just buzzing,
and head for the keys.

I was dreading what might happen.
You say I worry to much.
Please don't do this ,
and now I'm left behind.

The next morning, the phone rang,
I dreaded what might be said.
The police were on the line,
I thought you were dead!

But instead they were angry.
They found you under a tree.
They said you were hallucinating,
and that you were on "e".

I said no,maybe drunk,
not high or on drugs.
They then said someone at the party,
must have slipped it in your drink.

I shouted and screamed!
What would have happened if you had not left??
You might have been raped,
or maybe even dead.

So next time, please listen,
I'm your friend.
I don't want to see you dead!

This isn't a really good poem,and it only rhymes in some parts.lol.So if you have any suggestions on how to improve it or on a title,please comment or pm me.Thanks.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    Rado.. I like this, but it's not your best. But then again when we put alot of feeling's into things it tends not too be Sorta like my letter idea.We get the Idea's off our chest, then when we revise it, we can capture the emotion's in a more organized style.

    It's still good, though.
    Enjoyable to read.
    Your friend,
    Paula.

  • 17 years ago

    by 4EvErMaKeBeLiEvE

    I think you could spice this up a bit by making a few more things rhyme and wxplain it a little more. Foe instance what does "e" mean?

  • 17 years ago

    by XxToWriteLoveOnHerWristxX

    Wow i should show this poem to my dad..lol...he could learn a few things from it...but i really liked it it rocks out loud!!

    @: P

  • 17 years ago

    by ImNotPerfect20

    This poem has a good thought to it.. Not every poem has to rhyme. Although it would sound better.

    Hmm. i dont have anything for the first 2 stanza's but maybe in the 3rd stanza last line maybe if you leave out "And" so it will read like this.

    I was dreading what might happen.
    You say I worry to much.
    Please don't do this ,
    now I'm left behind.

    actucally that is all that i can find to fix.. This is not a bad poem.. I reread it a couple of times and it sounded better each time i read it. i give this a 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by xXxXhes the everything i cudve asked forXxXx

    This is a good poem. you dont need any changes in it. if you think its good than it is. and this story line is the reason most teens gets killed and stuff like that today. and im glad someone decided to write about it. well hopefully you might go check out some of my work.

    ***ayshley***

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