Celfairy And The Moon Stone.

by Teria   Jun 8, 2007


Celfairy And The Moon Stone.

Lighting flashes pushing down trees,
covering the child down on his knees.
I know he's not dead, I can feel it in my bones..
Please help, Clefairy and The Moon Stone.
You know your role within this game,
the game of evil, revenge and shame.
Perhaps you can save him, the little one.
Show the devil that death's not fun.

I've prayed and searched, done all I can..
Now, it's your turn to give me hand.
Just move the tree upon the dead,
bring him back to the life he lead.
I know it was good, I can tell he's innocent.
He's too young to be hell lent.

He's just a child about to die.
Poor Thing! I can hear him cry.
Celfairy and The Moon Stone,
he's still alive, still alone.
The child buried under rubbish and lies,
is ready to take his time and die.

You've proved God wrong,
you've taken way too long.
The devil has won his silly game,
the game of evil, revenge, and shame.
He's taken a toll on this entire earth,
and taken the child for all he's worth.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    As for emotion, it had so much of it, because it made me cry, again!! I can't get enough of your work, and these tissues wil be by my side as i keep reading.
    love Tara-Kay
    x

  • 17 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Again, I wasn't supposed to read this, but shhhhh.

    It was ok, but nowhere near as good as Bye, Bye, Butterfree. I'll take a stab in the dark and say you have a way with nonrhyming poetry.
    Anyways.
    I liked it, it was okay, but the rhyming seemed forced in some places and it didn't seem to have much emotion to it. I didn't...feel the purpose of it. I don't know.

    Sorry, Teria. It's a hard title.

    xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 4.5

  • 17 years ago

    by claire

    I like this poem a lot, but since you wanted harsh critique:
    1. The whole second verse was a little off. I didn't get the thing about moving the tree. And I think I know what you meant by "hell lent" but it doesn't make much sense and sounds a bit odd.
    2. "Show the devil that death's not fun" this made sense, but it was a little immature or somthing - I can't put my finger on why, but I dislike this line. "UN" is hard to rhyme, but you might find a word other than fun. if not, its just my opinion anyway. I hope this was the kind of critique you were looking for. Either way, I liked this poem a lot. I thought it was heartbreaking and beautiful. Hope I was helpful.
    ~Claire

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