Fantastic job , an excellent poem , as always, great flow and vocabulary was super, you did a great job, proud of you, be you need to start writing short story's ,your friend Tracy dean 5/5

So cold and empty her soul had [[gown]]
Do you mean... her soul had "grown"?

She is one the darkness now claims
You should change that to
She is now the one the darkness claims

Weeping not for yesterday, but for tomorrow
Love that line.

That she was facing death with an icy stare
The flow was off in this line.

Huh.
At first I didn't understand what you were talking about.
I was kind of distracted from the colors of the page.

It was kind of dull in the beginning.

When you mentioned a second person...
That's where I was like, "Uhm".

Last stanza.
It actually made sense.
She took her own life.
Which I was not very fond of.
But then that just peiced everything else.
The beginning, the middle, the blah..
Exactly how the ending was supposed to be.

But then you did something risky.
You made ALL depend on the ending.
But what happens if a certain person doesn't LIKE your ending?
They probably end up not liking your whole poem.

That's exactly what happened.
If that didn't make sense.
I sincerely apolosgize and would like to explain again.

Dear,
4/5.

Very dark and somewhat mysterious. I had to re-read this poem to understand the story, but I think by the end I had it sussed (sp?)

Your rhyming is fantastic. Good work.

Awesome! I loved the flow. I havent seen that type of rhyming before, where you would take two lines and rhyme them, and then do the same for the next. Totally original and emotional. I'm truly taken by this poem. I had to read it twice. :) 5/5

Good poem 5/5

I thought that was amazing. Very well written

Again the intensity in this poem too! It keeps me wanting to read more and more :). I love the vocabluary in this one, and how the tension builds up as she looks at death...

5/5

Favorite line:That she was facing death with an icy stare

Quillx

This is a fantastic dark poem. It was at great length. I wish you would've written more because it was unbelievable. Keep it up. 5/5