As He Goes Walking By

by Tareyn   Jun 10, 2007


Walking slowly down the hall
Holding my head high
I push myself against the wall
As he goes walking by.

He doesn't know I like him
And with my luck, he never will
Cause I'm afraid to go out on a limb
To tell him would make me ill.

I see him almost everywhere
Thinking maybe it's a sign.
I think we'd make a perfect pair
Like in poetry, we'd be a rhyme.

His smile can light up any day
His eyes, as bright as stars.
I wanna love him in every way.
But he doesn't love me. It's hard.

It hurts so bad when he talks of her
He says he thinks she's it.
Now all I do is sit and wonder
Are they, together, perfect?

I guess I'll just have to sit here
And wait for him to see
That me and him, together we're
The ones who's meant to be.

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  • 17 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    A very good poem with your rhyme. Your flow was slightly interrupted at parts, but not too badly. Your second stanza was my least favorite. Your line about it making you ill I think is what took away from your poem because your poem is so mature, and that line just seemed a little bit more like a childish rhyme...you know like you forced it to rhyme. But I mean, don't get me wrong, the rest of your poem was awesome and it is by far the best I've read thus far!!! So keep writing!
    Charisma*