A very good poem with your rhyme. Your flow was slightly interrupted at parts, but not too badly. Your second stanza was my least favorite. Your line about it making you ill I think is what took away from your poem because your poem is so mature, and that line just seemed a little bit more like a childish rhyme...you know like you forced it to rhyme. But I mean, don't get me wrong, the rest of your poem was awesome and it is by far the best I've read thus far!!! So keep writing!
Charisma*