Nice word choice it was almost like I was there. I gave it a 5/5.

Aww this is soo sweet! The flow was good, and the way you wrote it, with the short lines and pauses in the middle worked very well. The description and vocab created great imagery. A really excellent ending as well. Good job. =] 5/5

Tammie

Hey!
the flow in this was excellent well done, your vocab too was perfect and created the most amazing imagery in my mind it was perfect! i really enjoyed this WELL DONE!!
keep writing :)
take care
love Geo
ps. if u have time please comment my latest? dont forget to vote!! =]