No they don't!!! they don't deserve better because you are best! there is no better than you, your caring and loving and you put others first all the time, Its when you put the bullet through your head that they deseve better and you wont do that to them, you can still watch over them just here on the ground, like an angel without wings. Ashleigh, your son needs you and loves you, I can tell from his smiles on all the photos I have seen him in. Your a beautiful person and I trust you know whats right in your heart. everything will be ok, maybe not today or tomorrow, but when it is good, its worth waiting for.
I <3 you hun!!!

Lucy