That poem really made me think of my friend anna,

her parents seperated when she was like 6 and to deal with her depression she started pulling out bits of her hair on her crown..

one at a time

and now she has a big bald patch :[

like obsessive compulsive disorder..

its really sad :'[

and i really likeed that poem

it flowed really well but there was like one or two thingss that didnt quite work

hmm like instead of
'my mind and body are falling in a heap,'
you could have
'my mind and body are colapsing to fate'
or use
late
hate
date
mate

i dunno

just constructive criticism

:] because it is very good