The Voices

I stand up over the sink with my sight on the wall
I cannot blink or speak as I let these tears fall.

I'm alone in the kitchen with many dishes to clean
My dad walks in and leaves; again I remain unseen.

Voices start speaking within the depths of my head
They say what's the use of living when I'd be better off dead.

They say that nobody like me and no one will care
My dad walks in and yells, "Why are you just standing there?!"

I slowly open the faucet and still very stiff I stand
I get the first thing to clean which happened to be a knife held tightly in my hand.

My sight falls upon this weapon and I get lost in my thoughts
Voices echo that I'm useless and that in everybody's eyes I'm the naught.

Pain injures my heart; tears sting the back of my eyes
My stomach starts flipping; the knife gets blurry in my sight.

I slowly lift it up and place it over my wrist to rest
After I'm gone they'll probably agree it was for the best.

Voices repeat over and over, "Do it already! It's not a sin!"
And as I was about to press down, my little sister walked in.

"Genie! Genie! Genie! Are you almost done?
I want you to do my hair cuz I did it all wrong."

The fog was removed from my eyes; the voices faded away
I placed the knife back down and didn't know what to say.

I sat on a chair and placed her on my lap
I put her hair in a pony tail and I felt freed from a trap.

A trap where I'd been blind to commit a suicide to end it all
But I know the voices will return whenever something stalls.

My sister jumped off my lap and looked straight into my eyes
"Thank you, Genie," she said. "I love you and wouldn't want you to die."

Could it be she knew what I was about to do in a minute?
That's why she interrupted so I wouldn't go through with it?

I don't know if that's what it was
But whenever I hear "them", I'll think twice before ending it all.

*Written: 12-4-06*