Abandoned paradise

I sit alone in my room.
I can't believe what happened...
Bathe with pleasure in doom.

The times when we used to hug.
The times when we kissed.
The times when we fought so much.
All the good times we missed.

Your soothing arms around me.
Your warm touch of your skin.
Your piercing gaze of your eye.
The inclination to my sin.

I know I am stupid to be sad now.
It's just that I wonder how.
We were so happy, without fears.
And now, not a night without tears.

All the times you used to smiled.
All the times you laughed.
It was just a dream in my head.
Not bound to last.

Who would think that it would be me now.
Who sits all alone with noone.
All the things I regret doing...
I'd do anything to get that undone.

It wasn't really me who made us fail.
I really tried very hard.
I gave all I could from me.
Every single card.

I was the best boyfriend you could of dreamed.
But not good enough for you.
In my heart, of pain I screamed.

You didn't care, you sat right there.
Watched me lifeless stare.
You didn't do a thing.

This stupid poem is supposed to express my feelings.
It isn't possible to express
Cause all the blinding pain I feel...
I can't slightly impress...

I just wanted to say to all you out there.
What ever happens, you can live on.
Look at me, without a hope.

I struggle on, I don't know why.
Every single night I cry.
Many times I wish to die.
But until I breathe...
I will try.