Your name was mentioned again today.
It makes me scared not to know where you are.
I remember hearing the news that you had gone away
But no one said it was for this long.
I keep wondering where you are,
If you might still be somewhere,
Or if you are just a lost dream
I had years ago.
Maybe you're somewhere nice and peaceful,
So beautiful that you can't believe it's real.
Or maybe it's cold and dark
And you just want to fly away.
I wonder if it was something I did.
I can't help but blame myself
For something that might not even have happened.
Why didn't you tell me that you were going?
Why did it have to be someone else?
You used to be part of my dreams
But now your part of my nightmares.
I see them so often now,
You're not there to protect me from them.
Now you are my nightmare.
The wondering,
The ambiguous nature of your leaving.
Your voice tells me that I am the cause of your death.
I just can't say sorry to you,
I don't want to admit that you're never coming back.
Instead I just break down
And the tears drift quietly from eyes.
Everytime I see water I see your reflection.
It looks as clear as the water,
And the noise of the ripples
Sound so much like your voice.
But when I turn round your not there.
And all I want to know is where
And if you're safe
And if you ever will return
Safe, unharmed and real.
