Unknowing

by Chris   Jun 15, 2007


--this one is kind of sloppy but lemme know what you think. thanks!

We'll sit atop the wall,
over the edge we dangle our feet.
We look down to the busy crowd
fluttering on the street.
What are they doing?
and where are they going?
Life's passing by,
and, yet, they're unknowing.
The stars up above
are shining so bright.
We're starring at them
as if they're shedding some light
On our lives
or what we're thinking.
Time is standing still,
and my eyes aren't blinking.
The trees start to sway,
but move in slow motion.
I breathe in the air
and ignore the commotion.
Life's passing by,
and I don't want it to end.
I'm making a lifetime memory
holding onto a friend.

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  • 17 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    I like how it starts. But it seems to start falling apart about here 'On our lives'. That's where the flow seems to mess up. Kinda sweet and reveals this sort of 'dreamer' aspect as well. Though the words are rather typical they're used quite well. It's actually a pretty cool write. The ending lines kinda stand out moreso than the rest.
    ~Faith-less

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