All reasons to die.

~This is not really a poem but w/e its to get my feeling out~

I have 10 scares on my wrist, but 11 trys to kill myself.
I don't really know what to do anymore.
I am the only reason why my boyfriend is still holding on.
And I am a reason why my friend cut her self.
This is to hard now.
All of it.
I just don't understand why I don't cut deeper.
Why I don't just let go right now.
I miss her so much,
And I am just a f**ked up mess.
I don't see any reasons to live anymore.
Not even one.
I have messed up in my life so bad.
Haven is just a dream now.
I want to die and see her,
But I don't becuase my friends need me.
Still I don't want to live.
Cutting is my life now,
The razor blade is my only friend,
Even though people say there are reasons to live.
I don't see...
I see blood,
Tears,
Pain,
Lies,
Noting good,
All reasons to die.