Twisting hands
because I have a twisted brain
Twisted
not like
I'm nuts
But I am
Everything is all wrong
like upside down trees
like rain falling upward
like never eating
and suffering alive
This anxiety pools inside me
thick pools of hot oil
weighing down my stomach,
my legs.
My legs cant move.
My heart beats like syrup runs though it
no blood
no liquid,
just sticky disgusting glob.
My hands reach for my damned face
I hate these insides that are covered by this exterior
I hate my body, the way it's morphed itself
into this girl
I am damned
I am damned for loneliness
I scratched at my face
I want to rip my tongue out
so I'll never speak myself into a poisonous laer
ever again.
I am damned for loneliness
There is nothing but a green space
with thick smog around me
inhale and slurp thick toxic clouds of reality.
Loneliness..
Loneliness.
_______
Can I tear my hair out?
I've never wanted to look so ugly.
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SEE??
PLEASE NOTICE HOW UGLY I FEEL
PLEASE.
Can I smash my knees down on the pavement and lick the rocky ground to punish my tongue
I've created this space,
space than no one dares enter
I'm too damned to fix,
too damned, too selfish.
