White Blank Paper

Sourav, I must commend you on this particular piece. The title immediately caught my attention because of it's open-endedness. It did not give away the content of the poem at first glance and yet after reading your poem, one can see that it fits perfectly.

"On a white blank paper"

I enjoyed the repetition of this sentence as it gave me the impression that you were trying to make sense of the world and particularly of your surroundings. A great way to start your poem as the reader is immediately drawn in particularly because you have set the basis for a poem which everyone can relate to. We all try to make sense of the world in our own way! Very effective.

"I'm writing the chronicle of a tormented soul"

I really like this line, probably because I can relate so much. Nowadays we are all tormented and just imagining one of these souls keeping a chronicle is such a beautiful idea!

"Reality and dream are two different things
Can't achieve the same goal"

Ahh, here you bring to the readers attention one of the biggest ironies in life. From a young age we are taught to dream until one day we reach the harsh realisation that our reality cannot be consolidated with our dreams. This stanza reminds the reader of this dilema and causes them to stop and ponder.

"I'm putting the pieces of my broken heart
Vanquished & overpowered by the joy of sorrow
Relinquish to the power of thought of a new start"

Here I feel that you are describing the ironies of love, the way feelings are very often juxtaposed. The line, in this stanza, that stood out to me the most is;

"Vanquished & overpowered by the joy of sorrow"

This is, in my opinion, probably one of the most poetic lines in your poem. It almost does not even make sense! But, here I feel you capture the essence of love in its non-sensicality! When one loves, even the sorrows of this love become a joy. Very originally described.

"Witnessing the commotion of another love story
Love brings tears love creates pain
But only painful love gets the imperial glory"

Well, this stanza I felt was the weakest in the poem and yet I absolutely loved the last line. I liked that you described love as a 'commotion' as it is not a cliche at all and yet it perfectly describes love in itself!

"only painful love gets the imperial glory"

I absolutely loved this line. It shows to me that you have real talent as a poet because of it creativity. You have managed to capture a truth which is not usually observed and it has the reader reacting efficiently thinking, "That is so true!" We always cristalise those fallen loves that hurt so very much. Excellent line to me!

Overall Sourav, I did like this poem but I felt you could have done alot more with it. Some of the lines are cliches and they really let the poem down, for example,

"Love brings tears love creates pain"

Lines like these, I believe could be re-written to make your poem amazing. The issues that you have chosen to write about are extremely deep and by taking note of some of your lines, I am positive that you could re-write this piece to make it more poetical. If it were my piece I would consider a few metaphors and extending the length of the poem to elaborate of the feelings described.

Nonetheless, I have to commend you on this piece because it truly made me stop and think and THAT, in my opinion, is the true purpose of every poem! 5/5!

Very good writing. deep thought.

You use a great choice of words in your poems that makes everything flow beautifully.

"Reality and dream are two different things
Can't achieve the same goal"

Those are my favorite lines. Great work!

Whoa..this is an amazing piece..

On a "White Blank Paper" stories of life, love, happiness, sadness all waiting to be written.Mostly we collide head on with reality, but holding on to dreams only to find
"Reality and dream are two different things
Can't achieve the same goal"
Loved every line of this poem.