by Espoirfailed Jun 16, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
other
Years will fly by, |
by Prophecies In Kodak
You should have broken this up a little bit more. Like for instance, my favorite part was this.. |
by C Cattaway
I meant the 'unity' of poetic verse.. lol..!! xx |
by C Cattaway
Lol.. thankyou.. you say you don't like the until of poetic verse, and yet you almost brush upon it in a couple of places, and I think that maybe a way of you questioning your sincerity.. I think, subconsciously, that although you know he cheated, that you hoped it may turn out a different way, and I can fully understand that.. I think that this IS a great poem, for you have structured without structure, and you have expressed exactly what you feel. I wonder whether the use of the word 'liquid' was appropriate the second time, and I think it was used too much in such a short space, but I really cannot suggest anything other than that.. I really do like this poem. Well done. xx |
If your curfew is 9.. then this part makes no sense! =] |
by xo kisses xo
Beautiful poem! i love these lines |