Drowning

I look at you and my anger rages like an ocean,
A vast sea of wasted feelings,
And precious time.

Hurt by the things you say and do to me,
And the things you don`t think I hear,
Or you don`t think I`ll find out.

They always find their way back to me.
And the gaps and oceans
Between us grow wider and vaster and deeper.

As words get between us until
Neither of us know what to say,
And nothing is left to do but turn around,
And look the other way.

Telling lies
To let the other one know who`s not hurt the most
When really all it does is tear me up inside.

My empty heart is screaming
Fighting against the currents
Of love and hate, pulling away from each other,
Like the moon and the ocean
As we grow farther apart.

I want to talk,
to try to work things out and
Repair the rift that keeps growing.
But words get in the way.
We get angrier and more frustrated.

But how do I explain
How I feel and how much I want
To whisper between classes,
And go on double dates,
And share clothes and eat ice cream and giggle.
Spend the night making fish faces until we laugh do hard
our sides split,
And say or do something that will make the other angry.

When truthfully things like dancing to Hootie and the
Blowfish,
Tripping up stairs and strange Polariod pictures
Are things only a best friend can understand.

But somehow as I sit here and write this,
Not because I want to but because I have to for you and for myself,
The rift seems to heal itself and the ocean doesn`t seem quite so bottomless.

And I`m smiling again.
Because I know you will read this,
And understand it and me, and the way I feel.

Because you always have and I know you always will.
It`s that bond that reaches over oceans and repairs torn hearts,
Something that only a best friend can understand.