Fidelity

by Intoxic8dBeautyxXHaNaXx   Jun 18, 2007


Stare He gave
that deep look creeps all of me
turned to the future, the right page
will I ever see Him again?

the cold of his absence
heat of hope for His presence
looking outside for only even shadow
still the clouds just go

remnants of His peaceful face
still covers the dark, the time of sleep
puzzle of His smiles, formed every time I think
The past still embraces me,
embraces me with sick

Time flies so fast
Pages of me run in a glance
my hallucination continues
while waiting to see His face again,
wishing for the 21st of 3rd to happen again
and hope after that, the time I'll spend
will be with Him and never end

Never thought of knowing
Never thought of learning
Never meant to have this
the warm feeling of fancy
still innocent I am when this came
and don't know still why I reminisce
though I know that owned self was owned by somebody else

Know I have no rights to think,
to care, to cry
Just please give me the chance to
cherish everything of owned self
'til my last chapter die...

Sorry for my intermission
forgive my reasons,
better to forget it, just non sense
let everything pass and be erased
leave everything except the vivid
yellow-red trippings...

ORiginally by: C.B.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Nix

    This poem is very unique. It is deep and atmosphere that you created is amazing. Topic is great, very original. You described emotions excellently! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Ok first up, You have (He), (His), (Him) all capitalized, that's really not needed. Alot of words are capitalized throughout this poem that really don't need to be, I think you should capitalize the first letter of each line to make the poem look a bit neater.

    The flow was a little off to me in most places and I think that is because of the lack of punctuation, If you added more then the flow was be a bit better.

    Your word choice was good I really did like the words you have chosen to use throughout this poem, Some were really deep.

    I wasn't so keen on the structure and that's just because all your stanzas have different amounts of lines throughout it and I prefer them to be all the same that's my own personal opinion.

    The meaning you portrayed behind this poem was great though, I truely loved that the most about this piece.

    All together I give this poem a 4/5..
    ~mel

  • 17 years ago

    by Intoxic8dBeautyxXHaNaXx

    Sira! Diba sabi ko sayo titignan natin kung anung kalalabasan and okay lang hindi ko naman sinabing ako ang gumawa eh nilagay ko name mo. ^_^

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