Fury in the night

Once again another poem that just breaks my heart

"his poor little body
couldn't take the pain."

So sad, how can someone go from day to day living like and all for no reason, just one sick individuals idea of fun or fear or whatever reason they inflict this onto someone and to do that to a child is worst of all. How are they to understand and no what love is? This can cause such a vicous circle and its a miracle that this didnt completely warp you in some way. Shows amazing strength that i can only imagine! Take care and God Bless.

Kelly
x

I like this poem very much. It was flowing really well.

Heartbreaking. Tracy, you have such a way of describing pain that it is haunting. You chill me with your from the experience writes. It gets difficult to read sometime because I know you have experienced it. It is so hard to imagine that anyone would have to go through so much hurt. I hurt for you as well. If I could take away the pain of past I would erase it away gladly. Sadly it would never happen. The reality is something we have to live with every day. I'm so sorry.

As far as the poem itself, your writing is getting so much better and I can see how you have grown so much. Only in my opinion does this one line stick out. I think it could stand to be shortened and the meaning wouldn't be lost. Please do not take this as criticism, I admire you and your writing immensely.

^^neighbor's know whats happening
dogs start to bark.

Perhaps shorten it to ...
Neighbors know when
dogs start to bark.

It wouldn't lose any of the emphasis on what the neighbors know when they hear the ruckus outside.

Wonderful Job Tracy,
Your Friend,
Kay

Wow my friend! I wish I could take away all the pain you felt and are feeling :( Good writing!!!!