Comments : Everything breaks

  • 17 years ago

    by X Kashies Misery X

    AI like the feeling in this poem and I like what you are trying to express, but it is unclear at times and is a bit to random. For example:
    its at that moment, you break the glass.
    and as it breaks, so does the movement of your veins.
    That doesn't link well and doesn't make alot of sense. And I think you need to structure it a little bit better. But after that I think it will be even better then it is now, good luck with your poetry experience.