I Want, Need, and Pray to Die

The thoughts burst through my mind
there are so many at one time

But how to do it I'm not sure
and realizing I wouldn't have a cure

The knife the rope the gun all lay
but I tell myself on the table they should stay

I cannot live anymore
I want to die and to be sore

I need to go and be with my father
because I am nowhere close to being the perfect daughter

I want, need, and pray to die
and suicide is on my mind

The passion and yearning coming out of this
make me feel weak and without a fist

No more fist for fighting with the struggle of life
I pick up the knife and my mind can't decife

I don't know what or when or how
but I know that it needs to be done somehow

The blades and bullets await
longing for me to decide my fate

They gaze back at me bowing their heads
and I look at them and want to cut my threads

I'm so excited for the feeling of death
and I'm dreading my life ahead