I Hurt Alone

It's easier for you to walk away from me than to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away from me than to see the depth of my despair.
It's easier for you to look through me than to see "me."
It's easier for you to distance yourself from me than to really care.
It's easier for you to hear me than to listen to me.
It's easier for you to judge me than to understand me.
It's easier for you to label me than to get acquainted with who I am.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy than to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries than to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.

It's easier for me to look away than to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry and despair than for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone than to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away than for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself than to trust that you won´t hurt me.
It's easier for me to die than for me to face life's challenges.

It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.

If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.
If only you'd hold me without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.

But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so..I hurt alone...