Pretending (198)

I'm tired of pretending
That I don't care
When you push me and bash me
Help and friendship is where?

No where here
No where anywhere
No one to help me
No one to care.

Where is one who should understand me?
Feel what I feel
See what I see
And never learn to heal?

I try to hide
Every feeling I have when I'm not alone
But every feeling will spill
When I'm completely on my own.

When my mind is at rest
And my heart put to a cruel test
When I let my guard down
I ask myself why and how?

Why did I let them see?
How could I show?
The secret of me
That no one should know...

This time I have to be me
This time I can't pretend
Is there a "this time" this time?
Or is it finally the end?

©opyrighted by Kitty De'Kat