What people say

by Liz   Jun 25, 2007


People say be happy
don't ever be sad
aim high, not low
don't forget where u wanna go
they don't say why though

at school people talk
they say don't talk to her
she's way below what I'd ever go
but they wouldn't know

if they've never been so low
they almost try to die
they don't know what they missed
because when u leave that behind
it's so much better than it's ever been
u have a reason to live now

u don't tease the low
their life is at it's turning point
what u do matters
thats something everyone should know

if u read this please tell me ur honest opinion of it
~i really wanna know~oh yah i know i need to add a stanza or 2 but idk what to say or add

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  • 17 years ago

    by Mezmeryz

    I always give honest opinions anyway =] so, your poem has a main theme, ur flow is fine, however you seem to go of the focus at some point and it kinda loses the point, if you get what i mean. it would help if you added one more stanza in the middle, focusing exactly or more strongly on the main topic, or improved on of the other stanzas. it would be sufficient enough, to transform this poem in to a masterpiece, because i really admire poems on life, which give messages on equality, and i really enjoyed reading this poem, aswell as approved with the topic.
    overall, a 5/5 poem =]
    mezmeryz x

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