I hate myself for not listening to my instincts
And walking with my heart.
I thought that I closed out love
So I can never fall victim to it.
But then you came,
With that beautiful face of yours
Enticing me
And melting my ice cold heart.
I knew I had fallen into a river of love
And I was willing to flow
Yet the voice inside me
Told me not to go.
"What happened last time
When you thought you fell in love?
It broke into pieces
And you couldn't put them back.
Since then you swore to hold a heart of ice
Never becoming soft
Yet here you are now
Breaking your very oath."
I argued and fought with him
Defending your existence in my mind
I had defeated him
But suffered a heavy price.
You used me for your own purposes
And I couldn't believe it when I first heard it
I tried to stop myself
But I couldn't and lost control.
I didn't want to admit it
But I was wrong and he was right
I lost control of my emotions
And I fell apart
I tried to stop myself
By creating physical pain
"How could you do this? I said to myself
But my true question was
"How could I let myself fall for it?
Why did I break my oath?"
The answer is simple
It's because I love you
I loved you before
And I still do
Despite what I found out
Because I just do.
Can I ever let you go?
Why did you do this?
Why didn't you tell me?
Perhaps I shall never know.
