Written In The Sand

by Midnight Sun   Jul 2, 2007


I should have caught on
When you carved "I love you"
On the softened shore

As it washed away
I saw a sparkle in your eye
And a smile like never before

You see I wrote the same words
But you can still see them
Because I carved them in stone

But you backed away
And left me standing there
I was completely alone

Your promise was fragile
You said it with shaking hands
And you sounded unsure

I must have pushed too hard
You're still too weak
You just can't endure

So now I'm alone
Because I didn't see the signs
Of your flippant heart

Ignoring the sandy vow
And not seeing the instability
We're left standing so very far apart

please r/r/c...thank you!

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by oldthings

    Great poem, Brilliant how you compared permenant love written in stone to the passing love written in the sand. I really liked this. it was great. Unique way of writing it, i liked that a lot as well. Overall a very good poem. Great job. =)
    Keep it up.

  • 17 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Ok...hope this isn't about anything true, but besides that it is beautiful. I really loved the whole piece! It was a different style for you but very pretty!
    Charisma*

  • 17 years ago

    by Escoffier

    Very good writing, I enjoyed reading your poem.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jaime

    Great metaphor! Wow, I loved that.

    I also thought your rhyming scheme made it unique, as that is not a common pattern.

    I really have no suggestions- it's an amazing poem just the way it is. Nice job.

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