Great metaphor! Wow, I loved that.

I also thought your rhyming scheme made it unique, as that is not a common pattern.

I really have no suggestions- it's an amazing poem just the way it is. Nice job.

Very good writing, I enjoyed reading your poem.

Ok...hope this isn't about anything true, but besides that it is beautiful. I really loved the whole piece! It was a different style for you but very pretty!
Charisma*

Great poem, Brilliant how you compared permenant love written in stone to the passing love written in the sand. I really liked this. it was great. Unique way of writing it, i liked that a lot as well. Overall a very good poem. Great job. =)
Keep it up.