Real friends are forever (Rondeau).. Edited

by Hebe   Jul 3, 2007


With thanks to Fsams, for all the good suggestions wich made this poem better.
Thank you!
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Real friends are forever

Real friends are forever they care about you
Even if you are feeling so blue
They knock on your door
And sit in front of you on the floor
For them you are value

They always help with your issue
You go on trips to, for example, the zoo
Each other they adore
Real friends are forever

They stick together like a kind of glue
They stay friends longer then a month or two
When they started to lie and ignore
Probably they aren't real friends anymore
Now finding real friends is what you can do
Cause real friends are forever

" A poem with a refrain (R) (one line) and 2 or more stanza's
The last 2 stanza's end with refrain

(R)a-a-b-b-a (R stands in the beginning of line a)
a-a-b-R
a-a-b-b-a-R "

* So I'm busy with new things.
I've never made a rondeau before, this is my first try.
Please rate, tell me what you think of it, and what I can do to make it better.
Thanks!

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    This doesn't deserve to be down voted!

    It was simple with it's words but the tone and pure gratitude from the words gave it all the depth it needed, well done!

  • 17 years ago

    by Fsams

    To be honest this is a good poem. you can make it flawless by doing some work on it.

    Here is some suggestions

    They are always helping you with your issue

    Make this line little short, for example They always help with your issue

    Again work on the line And stay friends for much longer then a month or two

    check for syllable count to make it flow well. tc

  • 17 years ago

    by Cyma Khan

    Thats really nice poem...Im really dnt know abt Roundou.but really nice .
    5/5

    God bless u

  • 17 years ago

    by Phil

    I really enjoyed this lovely poem, and it's so true about real friends, keep up the great work
    Phil

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