Happiness

Deserving to care, but I really can't.
Exploitation of these pills won't let me rest.
Mix my mind of perils and my fate.
Drowning the memories I forgot today.

Moments wasted in my head,
The blankness is unforgiving.
Locked outside, but I have my key.
Strangest of creatures swamping my presence.

Shadows alone at dusk,
Sadness is my friend.
Numb to those who feel what I'm afraid to.
Happiness.

To far gone to pull back.
This image inside is torn and creased,
Like the affirmation of my life.

Light reflects those who shine,
Dull and lonely, I sit behind.
Calling out to those who listen-
But always turn away.

Misery road is mine to follow,
Paths that have been walked before,
I feel their being all around me,
Shiver, and carry on.

I see no end to this time.
Phasing in and out, I try,
To cope hungover with this drought,
Drought of what i need.
Happiness.

Remorse can chain me down,
It's bands cut like razors,
Time goes by, my binds don't budge,
There I lie alone.

Peace within is somewhat unheard of.
This land of moon swept plains.
Colour drained from life.
I'm living in my hell.

Not knowing nor wanting the past,
Is what wakes me at dawn,
Forgetting those whom I shared with,
Passing on my curse.
Happiness.