Sometimes

Sometimes it hurts so much
That I don't know how to catch my breath
Sometimes I ache in places
That I didn't know I had
Sometimes I wonder just how much suffering
One broken girl can take
And will it ever end?

Sometimes I replay the past
And pray that one day I will return to it
And sometimes I sit and cry
And try to pray it all away
But nothing works
And it still remains
And I still feel so alone

Sometimes I beg for forgiveness from
The God that turned his back on me
And sometimes I curse myself
The people around me
And the things I cannot change
Sometimes I lash out at everything
And everyone
And yet still hope no one notices
That it's just me I want to hurt
Because I deserve it

Sometimes I don't know where to go
Or who to call
Or how much fixing I really need
Because I know I'm broken
I admit I need help
But how do you repair someone that is incurable?
And not willing to allow someone to try

Sometimes I just sit
While my heart pounds violently in my chest
And I shake and sob
And clench my fists
And just let the tears flow
Because maybe that's all I can do
And maybe, this isn't my fault
But rather,
The life I have to live