Very interesting poem, I enjoyed in it.
Rhyming of this piece is good, and the choice of words, but I didn't quite understood its story. (Why did David killed the captain?)
Anyway, the poem is good, and I'm giving you 5/5

Yeah I know this isn't very clear at the moment - I meant to write at the end of it that it wasn't finished... I need to add in another two stanzas... to explain the story better - but had to get it written down before I forgot it! :) Thanks.

Mo
xx

A story told through a poem. I saw one tiny bit of spelling error. You might want to check it out. Mystery, to my perception, is a perfect element of a story. Liked it, great job.