Xx Spilled Innocence xX

Too many nights have I wasted in silence,
Too many times have I cried to my pillow,
Too many times have I regretted what was,
Too many times has my inside been hollow.

And all of these times have one thing in common,
They are all because of one thing that happened,
And I'm sick of being here and forced to play these games,
My knife still sits there in my vision, sharpened,

And I can't take another insult,
And I can't face another night alone,
So many people that don't understand 'no',
so now inside me lives another cyclone.

It's not my fault I can't look in a mirror,
I don't blame myself for cutting in deeper,
I hate who I am and it's because of you,
And into the hands I steadily fall to the reaper.

And it was you who did this to me,
And it was you who spilled my innocence,
You were the one that stole my pride,
And you stole within me my essence.

I can't laugh as hard as I used to,
I can't smile a smile thats real,
I can't act myself anymore,
Do you know how that must feel?

I'm lost in a spiral of ongoing depression,
I'm fighting for my life and I'm ready to give in,
It's an ongoing battle that I'll never win,
It's been four f king years and I'm still dying within!

Do you know what you have done to me?
still I can't sleep at night,
still I get nightmares,
And still I wake with a fright.

It was my virginity you stole,
you can't give that back!
You got hospitalized for what you did
and sympathy for that I lack.

(C) Lucy Green