My Inner Curse

Getting caught up in a web of delusions drives me insane
Trying to please everyone all in vain,
My own burdens are locked deep inside a dark purse,
Carrying others is part of life and my curse.

People are my joy or so I thought,
But when they start their web of deceit I'm easily caught,
The joy I had gets drained from my face,
My demons caught on to me, I'm a disgrace.

Anyone interested in me helps me to feel whole,
But mostly my friends are sucking me into a black hole,
I'm losing myself; I don't know who I am anymore,
And that for one person I felt I could adore.

White lines, crystal rocks and bottles of booze,
Loneliness will prevail and I have a life to loose,
Trying to hold on to feelings I know were any good,
Slowly kills me from within, and destroys my sane mood.

This is enough my life can't go on like this,
I'm feeling lost in a cruel word without any bliss.
My feelings and emotions are awaken from their lie,
And this emptiness is slowly making me die.