My pain

My pain grows and grows as i know that i might not ever find a girl that knows how i feel why i deal and why i don't care about what happens to me but only if they look in my eyes and they will see that my pain is getting the best of me ever since she left things have been getting worst for me she know who she is my one love cc my pain prevents me from doing my best letting go the stress but never the less i try and find a new love but don't no girl wants to be with a guy that use drugs but only if they were to give me a chance they would see that I'm a great young man and that my pain is the reason why weed seems to be my witness of destruction and why if you say lets smoke an eight I'll reply thats nothing my pain is killing me very very slowly but i don't see its scars so i carry on with the wrong and forget about the right and wonder why i cry to myself every night my struggles get bigger and bigger and I'm losing the fight even though i try to be good with all my might but my pain makes me say i don't care i don't have any thing to live for I'm liked but not loved so i don't want to hear more and say good bye and start to walk to god's door as i scream my pain my pain and look in the mirror and watch the tears i bleed