It's ironic how I try to avoid having my heart broken.
I try to hide my feelings, just pushing them deeper down, as far away from the surface as possible.
I don't trust anyone with my feelings. I don't want them to hurt me.
I don't want to have any expectations. I don't want to be disappointed.
I aim as low as possible to prevent further dismay.
I don't want to be put through the pain. I try and hide behind a wall.
A wall where I am safe from everyone and everything that can hurt me.
I hide behind this wall. A wall I built for myself.
Built in an attempt to avoid any future heartbreak.
No one will ever break my heart again.
I just hide behind this wall.
But I still feel the pain.
The pain of loneliness.
The pain of fear.
The pain of being unhappy.
No one to rely on.
No one to trust.
Because that's why I'm hidden, after all.
Behind here, no one can get me.
But no matter what, I stay hidden, these feelings of loneliness and fear and unhappiness will not go away.
Sure. If I let people in to my life they may break my heart.
They may do exactly what I've been avoiding for so long now.
But if I never step outside of all this I will never know. It may be the best thing that happens to me. It sure has to beat the loneliness behind the wall.
I just hope that one day my knight in shining armour will sweep me off my feet and treat me as though I am a princess. Everyone deserves that after all.
