This is too much like an entry for a diary. try giving it a poetic structure. and keep in mind you reader is your most important person when it comes to writing/reading your work. allow them to understand who it is that your talking about. im sure its your dad. but its just a future reference adivce.

I think it is like a diary entry... But I also think that's fine. Poetry is more than the way it's placed.. I think it should be more about the wording and feeling behind it, and you did have a lot of feeling.
It's great.
:]

Wow thats sad! nice job good flow!

It is like a diary entry but I love it! It's filled to the brim with feeling.I love it!Keep it up!

<3Amber

I think you could have made this into stanzas but this was beautifully done! very sad but enjoyable read! 5/5

Sad but good