02/07/2007
I believe in you and me...
Though it will be hard for us to do
We will try
You promised everything to me
You will give me your world.
All I ask of you is a lot of patience.
Frozen, numb and hurt inside
I am so scared sometimes
Scared of you, scared of your actions and of my reactions
When I look into your eyes
I know I should not be feeling scared
But I still am.
Have a little patience with me
For I am sure that whatever you do
Whatever you might say
It will only make me be more scared of what might come
And I do not want to be scared anymore
Trembling in your arms
Trying so hard not to forget how to breathe
Trying so hard not to forget how to speak
Wanting so damn hard to run away
To leave you and my hurt behind
Take the easy way out
I have to force myself to let you touch me
Force myself to stay there
Force myself to act as normal as possible
When all I want to do is run away
As far as I can run
You say you love me
How can I feel the same if I am so scared?
One step forwards means two steps backwards
I can barely sleep when I think about last time
I can barely feel nothing else than pure numbness
Pure frozen blood in my veins
Making me feel immobile
Making me feel as if I am losing all control of everything
Your arms hold me
Keep me safe and warm
I try to open up to you
I try to tell you everything
But after so long of not telling anybody
It is very hard to do so
It is very hard not to go back to old habits
Old habits where I shut everyone out
Old habits where I try to solve everything alone
I feel I am failing to please you
I feel as if I am being used by you
And I do not want to feel that
Because I know it is not like that
But I fail to believe
And I am not used to failures
One side of me is feeling perfect with you
The other, darker side is feeling scared with you
