The Girl

by Corruption   Jul 8, 2007


The Girl

A girl, so beautiful
A girl, so wonderful
A girl, i loved her dearly

till one day she sinned
till that day she cheated
at that day i died

we were wonderful
we were perfect
we were a young couple

bound to make mistakes
bound to not make it
bound to fail as a relationship

but i still love her
but i cant be with her
but i wish i could with all my heart

**wrote this in like 2 minutes for a contest in the wonderful club Soul of a Poet**

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by sheila

    Love it 5/5 keep it up!

    * $heila *

  • 17 years ago

    by Debbie

    In all truth, I was relatively disenchanted, for I wished you could have portrayed within your words how magnificent her beauty was and how she committed a sin and why can't you be with her any more :|. I'm quite certain that, by doing so, you'll produce such a terrific piece. But, even then, with all due respect to this particular work, I believed it was, yet again, a fine piece by you. (^^,) Pretty nice for a short piece; pretty cool for a 2-minute write. :)

    Best wishes! Heh.

    <3 Debbie

  • 17 years ago

    by Dying Beautifully

    Hey Keenan,

    Really Two Minutes not bad at all:p i really liked this one but I liked the other one better...Keep writting Keenan you are really great at this someone to look up to and hope to be able to write like one day.

    Beck

  • 17 years ago

    by Bryan

    Tis very good keenan, a few grammer mistakes, capitalize the I's and capitalize the beginning of the sentences, but its still a 5/5!!! great poem, i give it a 5/5!!! keep them coming!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by Anonymous Angel

    Hey,
    good poem, no word is said too much, I know exactly what your talking about and I think that some can relate to it, nice work 5/5
    kisses stephanie

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