Torn

Trapped in the middle
afraid of making the wrong move
Not wanting to hurt anyone
Constantly overlooking the truth.
Knowing how you each feel
And trying to make them my own
To try to feel your pain
That both of you have shown.
Wanting to make things right
My feelings tearing at me inside
Wondering if you guys feel this way
The way you hide it I despise.
I cover my own pain
With fake smiles and lies
just so youll think Im happy
This feeling of pain that I deny.
I pull myself away from this
And look at It from afar
I drop to my knees
The pain hitting me hard.
I put my face in my hands
As I begin to weep
For the pain that I cause
that hurts you so deep.
I cry for us softly
Wanting things to be the same
Without anyone getting hurt
Without having to feel this pain.
Things hidden from each other
Lies sewn in between us
Filing us up with fear
and slowly losing our trust.
You fear of losing me
to one or the other
It tears at me greatly
This pain I cant cover.
At times I wish I was gone
And you can smile without pain
and you can laugh without fear
Like our lives never changed.
But here we all are
And all of this is too
Its something we cant ignore
But its what we chose.
Loving both of you
Both in different ways
Hesitant to tell you
These facts set astray.
Knowing one day
Ill have to choose
Even though it will be hard
Between the both of you.
And when I do I know
the guilt and shame will flow
Feeling me with despair
A pain I soon will know.
Trapped in the middle
Trying to hide in the dark
Afraid to make the wrong move
And breaking your heart.

By: Patty A.