Fear Death

I fear death.
I'm afraid to take a breath.
Fearing it will be my last.
I have to get out of my past.
But little things remind me of them all.
And I just break down and fall.
Why did they have to leave me?
I guess my feelings they couldn't see.
Three gone then four then nine.
I guess they thought I would be just fine.
But the truth is im afraid to think about you.
Because I blame myself for not helping you through.
I know I could have stopped you from throwing your life away.
If I would have just told you everything I had to say.
Maybe you all would still be here.
And death would not be a fear.
I wouldn't have to worry about making new friends.
Because I wouldn't have to worry about them choosing their lives to end.
Maybe then I wouldn't have to hide.
And I wouldn't have to keep all my feelings inside.
But to go back and change what happened it's to late.
Because you guys took your death wish fate.
And im left here to pick up the pieces of your life.
The pieces you took with a knife.
The friends I lost I can never replace.
And some times I wish once more U could see their face.
Laugh with them about retarded crap.
Dance around to stupid rap.
Tell them I love them and how much they mean.
And then the love I had for them maybe they would have seen.
Maybe their past wouldn't be the same.
And carved in graves wouldn't be their name.
But this will never come true for me.
Because in the end everything is meant to be.