OH

Words can't express how much I love this...I found this to be elegantly written, very intense and moving simutaneously, and the word choice and rhyme scheme are enjoyable.

The imagery you painted blew me away, it was like I could see feel and hear everything that was happening, and the flow is flawless throughout the entire piece.

I just...I just LOVE it!

Words can not sum up how much I love this...so we'll just have to make do with my above attempt at doing so =)

I will make my words fire within your mouth,
[[Damn! YESS! This is MY kind of writing. Lmao!]]

Since, you're not there for me like you promised me.
[[Okay. I have a suggestion. Two "me's" is too repetitive for me. So, my suggestion is something like this: "Since you're not there like you promised me."
Just take out the first me. But, that's only a suggestion. =)]]

Knowing if it weren't for me.. you'd have all needed prevention.
[[Instead of the ... use --. Proper grammar. =)]]

Now, I liked this, and I didn't. It's not bad, but the ending wasn't like BAM END. It was like bam. end. =[
So basically I was expecting a slamming ending but didn't get it. But, the rest was nice and powerful and for that I'll give you your well deserved five.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5