This is my sad tale of survival,
and its so sad that it's sweet;
sweetly rolling off of my tongue now for you
and your ears.
Please listen, I beg of you
for you've got my heart and
I've been waiting so long, to be alright.
I used to walk alone
so full of sadness and subtleties
so wrecked, that you could not see
the death that lay inside of me.
My eyes revealed a battlefield
but nobody looked straight at them.
If ever they did then they might've seen
the blood and gore
I was forced to receive.
Each day I felt alone
and I knew that I didn't belong
and I lost completely everyone
who used to care,
who I used to call my friends.
I would look into the mirror
and stand there for hours at a time
hating every detail that I saw
until finally I did something about it.
I worked up my self-control
and I threw up all I owned.
From that day on I starved myself
of everything I ever wanted.
I would walk so weakly and bony
ignoring all the looks of suspicion and worry
cast at me.
I stuffed my fingers down my throat
and watched the trash that shoved its way out.
I was frail as a feather
and of course I liked it that way,
but still I was dissatisfied
which caused me to give up on all my dreams.
I lived in a damned black hole
where I was always lost and scared.
Now here I am still completely lost.
But now I'm fat as a stuffed warthog
who could ever love a mess like me?
Who but you could ever dig under my silence
to find the almost extinguished light within?
You love me though why I can't understand.
You will help me in every way that you can.
My faith is yours, and now I stand a chance,
but since you've got me completely convinced
that I will never love a single soul the way I love you
I think I might as well tell you now..
I am still sad, I'm still forgotten
and the pain etched into me will always prevail.
Still I strive just to starve myself
and I tell you that I cannot stop for anyone.
Will you leave me now,
now that you know what trouble
I will be?
Will you walk away and never look back because if you want to,
let me tell you it won't be the first time.
If you stay I will be grateful
and you will be loved more than
anyone else can ever love you.
Because you are special
and miraculous..
and even I know that there is no one else out there,
quite like you.
You, my Beloved.
