Not so Perfect

by Spirit   Jul 9, 2007


(dedicated to Erin -little sister who gave me my inspiration)

Nobody's perfect,
At least thats what they say,
No one has everything,
always a price to pay,

For some life is easy,
but perfect it will never be,
some have a hard life,
but they're happier than me,

So tell me then why do i want,
a life of rich and fame,
when the life that they're livin',
some how is all the same,

Perfection is something,
that we never can achieve,
no matter how much we pray,
or how hard we believe,

You may not want to know this,
just be strong and be tough,
but I don't want perfection,
and happiness is enough

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by CanUKissAwayMyPain

    I like your message in this piece. and your sister inspired to write this and you did a wonderful job. and it's also true. i love it.
    5/5

    TaKe CaRe,
    Frenchy

  • 15 years ago

    by Hurtingsoul

    Beautiful flow and rythm it added a more powerful meaning to your words. and i completely agree with wat you say "happiness is enough". great write short simple and powerful.

    HS

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "So tell me then why do i want,
    a life of rich and fame,
    when the life that they're livin',
    some how is all the same,"
    -Capitolize the i in the first line.
    -Maybe insert a comma after then in the first line, it just sounded good to me. Not that you have to or anything.
    -Some of the rhyming is pretty forced. I know it's hard to make poems rhyme. Maybe you'd be better off without the rhyming. You can still make a poem flow amazingly without rhyming! Just remember to keep the message of the poem clear.

    I loved your last line. I love this poem a lot for the fact that you got the inspiration from you sister to write this poem. I agree with this message completely. :) There's so much in life that one doesn't think about and I love how you pointed one of those things out here. Everybody tries to be perfect and better than everyoen else, but.. really.. nobody is perfect. I love how at the end you say that you don't want perfection.. you just want happiness. That there told me how you feel about people being perfect. It totally summed up your overall thoughts. This poem, I thought the flow was better than your other poem but could use some more descriptive words. Pick up a thesorous[sp] .. They are very helpful. You'd be amazed. :) So, work on using more bigger vocabulary and not having your rhyming so forced. I love how wonderfully you can tell us your thoughts on different things... I just think that maybe the flow needs a little work. Overall, 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    I really enjoyed this poem. This is by far my favorite so far. I LOVED that last stanza. So much power. I really liked your vocab in this .. it seemed so much stronger. again just get get those lines Capitalized and your I's. and your all set.

    Great Job Babe

    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by nikki

    It was a wonderfully written poem,
    i absolutely loved it, and the way
    you expressed it was awesome,
    it is a poem on truth, and the
    emotions in this poem are just
    beautiful. nicely penned 5/5

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