Hey you did an awesome job . don worry you write very well . you made a good combo of physical situations and emotions. i enjoyed it.5\5 for it
.
do read my poems
hoping to be your friend
Rohan

That was a really great poem and I enjoyed reading it so don't put yourself down about your work you write well so keep up the good work :)

Gill x

The people who commented before I did, their right! You shouldn't put your work down! Your a talented, unique writer. ttyl

-Nao-

Ok this totally was good! It was very from the heart and that's what means the most in poetry. Not form or flow ( in my opinion anyways ). I think it was exellent! And thank you btw for the comment on my poem, I am SO sorry that you can relate to that. Just keep writing...it releases a lot of anger, trust me! :)
~Midnight Sun

Wow. Take that off in the end:
"Hi guys! Sorry if the poem isn't that good, I knew it.. But I would really appreciate if you would give comments.. Please.. Thanks a lot!!!.."
Cuz you don't know what your saying. Great choice of words. Seriously.

Your in my Favorites.

Keep writing.

Superb! I found everything about it excellent, from the words down to the strong emotion; you write very well... Great job

Awesome poem, you write wonderfully. like your other, 5/5. write some more!!!

5/5 Amazing write