That's All There Was

by JiKaRiN   Jul 10, 2007


A piece of stone in the desert
Mounted flat in the crust of the earth
Covered by sand and gravel after a gust
A single grain, that's all there was
A decoy in a battlefield
A crater in an open field
Shattered raiment in the wilderness
A raucous voice, nevertheless
Blood oozing from the flesh
Dropping on my wool-sewed dress
Veins popping from underneath the skin
Metal locks on my limbs
Leaves of trees on loamy soil
Fire that eats up all their toil
Mountain restless from smokes and bombs
Stones and rocks melting on the pond
Lions and tigers feasting on their prey
Ants and insects on horses wounds and hay
Worms in soil and into mouths
Old-aged suffering in gout
Locusts sprung to wreck the Wheatfield
Scarecrow made for greater yield
Drought that kills herbs in a blast
A single grain, that's all there was

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Boy

    Coool. gd work.

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    Nice piece. Imagery was awesome. Very thought provoking.
    Take Care Cindy

  • 17 years ago

    by audrey harris

    Great poem, it's wonderful how the imagery used can paint a picture in the mind! Excellent! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by DeathlyAmore

    Well it was very graphic.

    You see I will give it a 5/5 because its better than my first poems.

    Really it was.

    So since this is begininers work I will give it a 5.

    But for the critique.

    You must work on your flow alot better. Also. Please when you write, try to give of interpretation so that the reader can interpret what the poem that you wrote. So that they may know what it means when they read it.

    Now I have found out what it means. And I was able to interpret the information you left on the poem. But, many other poets, [especially beginners] will not know what it means. So please. Leave a little more information.

    This poem is a Fair poem. But again, way, way, way, better than my first ones. Seriously.

    So I give you a 5.

    Please keep writing, do not stop. Master the words, Learn new words, put your head on a thesaraus and dictionary and learn new words so you can master your vocabulary and take your poems to the fullest extent.

    I will add you to my favorites to check up on you if you write more poems.

    A critique to your consideration,
    Samuel.

    "I shall always and forever be..."
    [Deathly'Amore]

  • 17 years ago

    by Naomi

    It was really entertaining! I liked it, it written very well and you can ralate to it. Good work and thank you on the comments on my work.

    -Nao-

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