Beat

by Romancing the Darker Side   Jul 12, 2007


Pain in my empty heart
Shallow beating comes
Rhythimically in my tears
Preying upon my soul

Rightfully taking everything
Stealing all my feeling
Polluting my spirit
Reeling emotions astir

x-x-x-x
This is a type of poem where you must choose three or less letters, and the first letter of each line in your poem must start with any of those letters. I have chosen P, S, and R for the above poem. It is rather difficult.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Auspicious76

    Pain in my empty heart
    Shallow beating comes
    Rhythimically in my heart
    Preying upon my soul

    The repeated use of heart in the same stanza is not something you want to do. Those used to professionally editing such things would suggest finding another word. Perhaps this:

    Pain in my empty heart
    Shallow beating comes
    Rhythimically to tears,
    Preying upon my soul.

    Not the best of suggestions :-/ But it does throw out the second heart.

    This is the only thing I found wrong. I applaude the challenge of writing such a poem! It was a joy to read :-)

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